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Перекусон:
• чипсы с солью
• исинди

Это не первая моя попытка уйти в ремиссию. До этого была ещё парочка, и все они были провальными.

Штука в том, что, как ни странно, в этот раз я не боюсь еды, боюсь только переесть. Предполагаю, что предыдущие попытки рекавери не увенчались успехом отчасти из-за боязни еды.

Тогда я боялась есть сладкое, потому что оно калорийное. Я считала энергетическую ценность съеденного в голове. И почему-то мне казалось, что все в порядке, я же ем. Пофиг, что я не пыталась привести мысли в порядок, а только сильнее загонялась.

Сейчас же все иначе. Понятия не имею почему. Возможно, я стала лучше разбираться в теме питания. Возможно, я понимаю, что мне надо немного набрать вес.

Я могу спокойно за раз съесть целую плитку шоколада. Или скушать чипсов. Даже еда с неизвестной мне калорийностью не вызывает страх. 
Конечно, у меня есть некоторые загоны. Например, я до сих пор побаиваюсь калорийных напитков. Но я стараюсь не быть заложником своих страхов и бороться с ними.

Думаю, это хорошо, что я несильно переживаю из-за еды. Я просто хочу есть, есть как здоровые люди. Я хочу жить полной жизнью и не лишать себя удовольствий.

#восстановление #рппвосстановление #булимиявосстановление #рекавери #рппрекавери #булимиярекавери #recovery #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimianervosarecovery #recoverywin #нехудею #непп #питание #образжизни #ип #интуитивноепитание #еда #food
Перекусон: • чипсы с солью • исинди Это не первая моя попытка уйти в ремиссию. До этого была ещё парочка, и все они были провальными. Штука в том, что, как ни странно, в этот раз я не боюсь еды, боюсь только переесть. Предполагаю, что предыдущие попытки рекавери не увенчались успехом отчасти из-за боязни еды. Тогда я боялась есть сладкое, потому что оно калорийное. Я считала энергетическую ценность съеденного в голове. И почему-то мне казалось, что все в порядке, я же ем. Пофиг, что я не пыталась привести мысли в порядок, а только сильнее загонялась. Сейчас же все иначе. Понятия не имею почему. Возможно, я стала лучше разбираться в теме питания. Возможно, я понимаю, что мне надо немного набрать вес. Я могу спокойно за раз съесть целую плитку шоколада. Или скушать чипсов. Даже еда с неизвестной мне калорийностью не вызывает страх. Конечно, у меня есть некоторые загоны. Например, я до сих пор побаиваюсь калорийных напитков. Но я стараюсь не быть заложником своих страхов и бороться с ними. Думаю, это хорошо, что я несильно переживаю из-за еды. Я просто хочу есть, есть как здоровые люди. Я хочу жить полной жизнью и не лишать себя удовольствий. #восстановление #рппвосстановление #булимиявосстановление #рекавери #рппрекавери #булимиярекавери #recovery #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimianervosarecovery #recoverywin #нехудею #непп #питание #образжизни #ип #интуитивноепитание #еда #food
I tried the vegan almond magnum for my afternoon snack and tbh I think I like it even better than the normal almond magnum because the chocolate is darker and I really enjoy dark chocolate 🥰
This gets an 10/10 from me! 💛
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#edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderecovery #anorexiarecover #anorexiarecovery #anorexiarecoverymeal #anorexiarecovering #food #fearfood #icecream #magnum #veganmagnum #vegan
Just saw this post by @beatedsupport and just had to share
We can ALL argue with the voices in our heads 
We can ALL face our fears
We can ALL act opposite
We can ALL deal with our triggers 
We just have to WANT to 
________________________________

#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #food #edfighter #anarecovery #ed #mentalhealth #recoveryisworthit #food #recoveryispossible #prorecovery #ana #healthyfood #anorexiafighter #mentalhealthawareness #recoverywarrior #eatingdisorderecovery #recoverywin #selflove #beatinged #instafood #selfcare #edfam #eatittobeatit #beatingeatingdisorders
Just saw this post by @beatedsupport and just had to share We can ALL argue with the voices in our heads We can ALL face our fears We can ALL act opposite We can ALL deal with our triggers We just have to WANT to ________________________________ #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #food #edfighter #anarecovery #ed #mentalhealth #recoveryisworthit #food #recoveryispossible #prorecovery #ana #healthyfood #anorexiafighter #mentalhealthawareness #recoverywarrior #eatingdisorderecovery #recoverywin #selflove #beatinged #instafood #selfcare #edfam #eatittobeatit #beatingeatingdisorders
🍝🐟🧀🥗🍫🍑
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Lunch : Pasta with tuna, cheese, and parsley. (also had some unpictured salad) 
Dessert : Dark chocolate mousse and a white nectarine. (unpictured) 
This lunch was very hard to eat. My mum had to tell me to finish my plate several times because I would stop and say that I didnt want to eat anymore. It was really hard but at the end I ate all of it and had my dessert too. 
I think this happened because the weight gain has really affected me, more than I realized or expected. Now when I look in the mirror, I feel like my face is so puffy and it doesnt help that my stomach is constantly bloated. Also, this meal was supposed to be something else completely different, but because I have friends coming over just after lunch we had to cook something quick. My mum said its the meal of college students haha and it triggered my perfectionism. But food doesnt have to be perfect !! Argh 🙄 
Also Im anxious about this afternoon because Im going to do a baking contest at home with some friends, and Im afraid about the cake. This makes no sense, because I baked and ate a big slice of cake only two days ago ?? But it shows that sometimes the ed thoughts get louder, but it doesnt mean Im doing something wrong. I have to fight harder and not act on those thoughts, so my goal is to taste each cake and to have a full slice of at least one cake 😄

And also, pasta is still not becoming easier. Im continuing to do the #challengerepeat on pastz but its still so hard. But weeks after weeks, I know it will get easier. I wont give up 👊🏻✨ Excuse me if I made any grammatical mistakes, as Im not a native english speaker. If you do find mistakes, feel free to tell me, and Ill correct them. Ill do my best ! 😆

Hope you all have a good day 🌠
Keep fighting 🦁

#anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #anorexianervosa #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anarecovery #food #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #ed #edwarrior #edfighter #foodisfuel #pasta #creamypasta #tuna #tunapasta #fearfood
🍝🐟🧀🥗🍫🍑 * Lunch : Pasta with tuna, cheese, and parsley. (also had some unpictured salad) Dessert : Dark chocolate mousse and a white nectarine. (unpictured) This lunch was very hard to eat. My mum had to tell me to finish my plate several times because I would stop and say that I didn't want to eat anymore. It was really hard but at the end I ate all of it and had my dessert too. I think this happened because the weight gain has really affected me, more than I realized or expected. Now when I look in the mirror, I feel like my face is so puffy and it doesn't help that my stomach is constantly bloated. Also, this meal was supposed to be something else completely different, but because I have friends coming over just after lunch we had to cook something quick. My mum said "it's the meal of college students haha" and it triggered my perfectionism. But food doesn't have to be perfect !! Argh 🙄 Also I'm anxious about this afternoon because I'm going to do a baking contest at home with some friends, and I'm afraid about the cake. This makes no sense, because I baked and ate a big slice of cake only two days ago ?? But it shows that sometimes the ed thoughts get louder, but it doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong. I have to fight harder and not act on those thoughts, so my goal is to taste each cake and to have a full slice of at least one cake 😄 And also, pasta is still not becoming easier. I'm continuing to do the #challengerepeat on pastz but it's still so hard. But weeks after weeks, I know it will get easier. I won't give up 👊🏻✨ Excuse me if I made any grammatical mistakes, as I'm not a native english speaker. If you do find mistakes, feel free to tell me, and I'll correct them. I'll do my best ! 😆 Hope you all have a good day 🌠 Keep fighting 🦁 #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #anorexianervosa #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anarecovery #food #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #ed #edwarrior #edfighter #foodisfuel #pasta #creamypasta #tuna #tunapasta #fearfood
Watched @nadiyajhussain Time to Eat this morning where she made her egg mushroom wraps and got me craving one! So heres my adaptation of that using what I have in my fridge for #lunch! I made an omelette using an egg, tomatoes, salt, pepper and dried herbs, wilted some spinach and placed in a warm @lovebakerstreet soft brown roll with @skinnyfoodco tomato ketchup, @aldiuk mature cheddar chickpea puffs, a nectarine and some grapes😊 .

#healthylunch #lunchideas #sandwich #crisps #healthyeating #hde #intuitiveeating #mfp #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #beatana #beatanorexia #caloriecounting #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edcommunity #edfamily #edarmy #edwarrior #healthynotskinny #myfitnesspal #nourishnotpunish #prorecovery #foodisfuel #healthylifestyle #fooddiary #balanceddiet
Watched @nadiyajhussain Time to Eat this morning where she made her egg mushroom wraps and got me craving one! So here's my adaptation of that using what I have in my fridge for #lunch! I made an omelette using an egg, tomatoes, salt, pepper and dried herbs, wilted some spinach and placed in a warm @lovebakerstreet soft brown roll with @skinnyfoodco tomato ketchup, @aldiuk mature cheddar chickpea puffs, a nectarine and some grapes😊 . #healthylunch #lunchideas #sandwich #crisps #healthyeating #hde #intuitiveeating #mfp #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #beatana #beatanorexia #caloriecounting #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edcommunity #edfamily #edarmy #edwarrior #healthynotskinny #myfitnesspal #nourishnotpunish #prorecovery #foodisfuel #healthylifestyle #fooddiary #balanceddiet
morning snack🍒
goodies bar and strawbs •
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feeling so bloated recently, which makes my body image so much worse? i felt so disgusting last night i broke down and my mum would usually be there to comfort me but she isn’t here so my emotions are so much heightened this weekend!! 😪
#edrecovery #morningsnack #strawberries #goodies #anarecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexianervosarecovery #EatingDisorderRecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecover #beatingana #beatinganorexia #anorexiasoldier #fightana #beatana
morning snack🍒 goodies bar and strawbs • • • • • • • feeling so bloated recently, which makes my body image so much worse? i felt so disgusting last night i broke down and my mum would usually be there to comfort me but she isn’t here so my emotions are so much heightened this weekend!! 😪 #edrecovery #morningsnack #strawberries #goodies #anarecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexianervosarecovery #EatingDisorderRecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecover #beatingana #beatinganorexia #anorexiasoldier #fightana #beatana
LUNCH
I had an appointment with my doctor this morning and Ive lost weight.... So now I have to gain back the weight, but my motivation is higher than the past few days! For lunch I had a big pickle, sweet corn, beet, beef mince, à yogurt with some pollen and 1/4 of a melon. Feeling bloated right now but its okay, Ill rest for a bit so that my body digest that meal! 😁
How is your day going? 😚
#edrecovery#edawarness#fighting#selflove#anorexiarecovery#anorexiafight#strong#fight#fearfood#anarecovery
LUNCH I had an appointment with my doctor this morning and I've lost weight.... So now I have to gain back the weight, but my motivation is higher than the past few days! For lunch I had a big pickle, sweet corn, beet, beef mince, à yogurt with some pollen and 1/4 of a melon. Feeling bloated right now but it's okay, I'll rest for a bit so that my body digest that meal! 😁 How is your day going? 😚 #edrecovery #edawarness #fighting #selflove #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafight #strong #fight #fearfood #anarecovery
Lunch today is a marmite crumpet, strawberries, and apple, and some McCoys crisps (first non-diet crisps in a long time!)
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We’re having friends over tonight to make some pizza. I’m nervous but looking forward to enjoying my evening with my friends!
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#lunch #crumpet #apple #crisps #fruit #strawberry #delicious #food #meal #ed #edfam #edrecovery #recovery #recoverywin #fearfood #foodfreedom #health #healthy #healthyfood #marmite #mccoys
Everyday essentials ! Lemon water & green juice 👌 #vegan #raw #rawvegan #essentials #musthave #morning #saturday #weekend #ed #edrecovery
In the beginning of recovery it can be hard to distinguish what is your own behaviour and what’s an eating disorder behaviour. It might be as simple as do I want to eat that? Because that’s how the eating disorder works. It’s sneaky and tries to gain power through any means. It might lead you to believe you want to restrict, you want to overexercise, you want to purge...because it’s a habit. It might feel like safe territory, it might feel easier to engage in those behaviours and might feel like the right thing to do. But the more you engage in the eating disorder behaviours the harder it is to climb out of the deep hole. 🕳
At times it might be easier to disguise the eating disorder behaviours. Pretend that they are not disordered. Pretend that they are not harmful. Pretend that they don’t keep you stuck in that deep hole. It takes time to learn that engaging in eating disorder behaviours is harmful to your health, your happiness and your recovery. It is a path of learning which involves making mistakes along the way. You may fall into the deep hole a lot in the beginning but keep persisting. 🕳
The further along in your recovery, you might develop some awareness of eating disorder behaviours. This is one of the hardest stages of recovery. It can be incredibly hard to actively push against that urge and to do the opposite action. And at times you may fall back into the deep hole but it takes time, patience and practise to build a new habit. A habit not to listen to the eating disorder. A habit to do what’s best for your recovery. It’s knowing when you’ve fallen in the deep hole and instead of allowing yourself to be stuck there, getting out and trying again. 🕳 
Then one day you’ll notice the urge to engage in an eating disorder behaviour arises and you resist it much more easily. You’ll realise you haven’t fallen in the deep hole in a long time and you’re on the right path. The path of recovery. Full of life, love and laughter. The deep hole will be a distant memory. *Poem: There’s a Hole in my Sidewalk: the Romance of Self Discovery by Portia Nelson*✨
#edrecovery #edwarrior #edcommunity
In the beginning of recovery it can be hard to distinguish what is your own behaviour and what’s an eating disorder behaviour. It might be as simple as do I want to eat that? Because that’s how the eating disorder works. It’s sneaky and tries to gain power through any means. It might lead you to believe you want to restrict, you want to overexercise, you want to purge...because it’s a habit. It might feel like safe territory, it might feel easier to engage in those behaviours and might feel like the right thing to do. But the more you engage in the eating disorder behaviours the harder it is to climb out of the deep hole. 🕳 At times it might be easier to disguise the eating disorder behaviours. Pretend that they are not disordered. Pretend that they are not harmful. Pretend that they don’t keep you stuck in that deep hole. It takes time to learn that engaging in eating disorder behaviours is harmful to your health, your happiness and your recovery. It is a path of learning which involves making mistakes along the way. You may fall into the deep hole a lot in the beginning but keep persisting. 🕳 The further along in your recovery, you might develop some awareness of eating disorder behaviours. This is one of the hardest stages of recovery. It can be incredibly hard to actively push against that urge and to do the opposite action. And at times you may fall back into the deep hole but it takes time, patience and practise to build a new habit. A habit not to listen to the eating disorder. A habit to do what’s best for your recovery. It’s knowing when you’ve fallen in the deep hole and instead of allowing yourself to be stuck there, getting out and trying again. 🕳 Then one day you’ll notice the urge to engage in an eating disorder behaviour arises and you resist it much more easily. You’ll realise you haven’t fallen in the deep hole in a long time and you’re on the right path. The path of recovery. Full of life, love and laughter. The deep hole will be a distant memory. *Poem: There’s a Hole in my Sidewalk: the Romance of Self Discovery by Portia Nelson*✨ #edrecovery #edwarrior #edcommunity
My very own @neda tattoo as designed and inked by the incredibly talented @tallontattoo
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I have no words to describe how much I love this tat. Every time I look in the mirror now I see these beautiful Australian natives where my self harm scars once were and I’m reminded just how far I’ve come. I wear this symbol with pride and bare no shame as to the illness I live with and the journey I’m on 🌿
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#recoverytattoo #neda #nedatattoo #edrecovery #eatingdisordertattoo #edtattoo
My very own @neda tattoo as designed and inked by the incredibly talented @tallontattoo . I have no words to describe how much I love this tat. Every time I look in the mirror now I see these beautiful Australian natives where my self harm scars once were and I’m reminded just how far I’ve come. I wear this symbol with pride and bare no shame as to the illness I live with and the journey I’m on 🌿 . #recoverytattoo #neda #nedatattoo #edrecovery #eatingdisordertattoo #edtattoo
Happy Saturday☀️. Thank you so so much for all the kind comments and messages I got in my last post. Im so grateful to have such an amazing (baby) community😭. You cant imagine how helpful your support is for me! Love u all💚. Theres no better way to thank you than my classic big fat bowl of oatmeal🤤😍
🥣dEATS: •1cup quick oats •1cup soy milk •1 scoop @myhemple vanilla protein powder🥣
Happy Saturday☀️. Thank you so so much for all the kind comments and messages I got in my last post. I'm so grateful to have such an amazing (baby) community😭. You can't imagine how helpful your support is for me! Love u all💚. There's no better way to thank you than my classic big fat bowl of oatmeal🤤😍 🥣dEATS: •1cup quick oats •1cup soy milk •1 scoop @myhemple vanilla protein powder🥣