I’ve been doing some forgiveness work as suggested in the formula, when going through the eye of the needle and had a breakthrough today. The man I love intentionally never expressed to me that he preferred to not have me in his reality and I felt ashamed and confused about it and didn’t know why, and he had no desire to openly communicate about it. He didn't say a word. He just disappeared. I discovered intellectually that he has his own issues that doesn’t have anything to do with me and I replaced the belief that 'My worth is determined by him valuing me' with 'It only matters that I value me', and right away I did feel better about that. The emotions shame, fear, unworthiness did come back later, though, when I thought of him, and I realized that I had been fighting that emotion, insisting that it didn’t belong and needed it to go away. So I just allowed it to be and that seemed to be the final step for me to lock in the new belief. Now I’m not pushing away that emotional energy and it hasn’t come back again, when I think of him. Thank you soulmate of mine who helped me learn this. When you get in touch with the darkness within yourself fully, you know no darkness can harm you, because you're equal to it. To put in euphemistically terminology, no one is as much of a badass as me, so I don't have to worry about being accosted by badasses. You will forever be my always. Drape me in little blossoms and starry skies. Keep my soul inside these midnight eyes.
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