“... relationships are a manifestation of perceived self worth.
Trauma bonds mimic the first relationships we had and witnessed as children.
We seek to be saved, fixed + rescued. Or we seek to save, fix, or rescue someone else. There’s no room for expansion. There’s only room for cycles of familiar emotions from the past.
We project this past onto another human being, then we become resentful when they can’t fulfill a fantasy role we’ve unconsciously created.
Authentic love is freedom. It’s accountability. It’s vulnerability. It’s a willingness to view another person as a mirror. As a teacher. It’s an opportunity to actually meet yourself so that you may actually meet another person without agenda.
What is one thing you’ve learned through trauma bonding? #selfhealers
This beautiful graphic and caption says it best. Here’s my own testimony: Before I really healed from trauma and recovered from past habitual anxious behavior, I trauma-bonded in so many different relationships: close friends, teachers, even my “crushes” at the time. I loved and stretched myself thin out of fear of rejection and being alone. And harmful to both parties, I lacked communication and expected others to know my needs and “fix me”. When we’d argue about this, I hurt my relationships with misunderstanding but played the victim. It was wrong of me.
When I recovered and changed my behavior and attitude, some of my trauma-bonds became true and loving relationships. The others were picked out of my life.
Relationships and mental health, just like our other 2020 themes, work a two way street.
(PS I cut off the beginning of their caption because of the personal story. As a repost, I’d prefer not to take the personal anecdote on the original 😊 Check them out for more amazing content!)