This post is dedicated to all of you young ladies that I get daily DMs from, for my followers new and old, for my single friends, and it is for my men folks too.
When we get picked, we feel validated, we feel seen, we feel heard and we feel chosen. That feeling is super special. (I'm sure you thought of someone now ... Just saying ☺️)
I am not going to dismiss external validation as unimportant which many people do. It is natural, so much, so that our body releases the oxytocin, (thank you Dr. @authorbelhajnour
for the scientific explanation) the oxytocin is a love hormone -when we are in the first throes of a romantic relationship.
BUT, surely you're wondering "what happens when we don't get picked?" we feel rejected, we feel hurt and worse, we feel disappointed in ourselves. So.. We don't pick us either.
We get into a cycle self-blame, thinking "if only I had done this.." "If only I had said that.."I wish I had been less emotional.." I wish I had shown him.." "Next time.."
We don't pick us either.
In reality, we already believed that there was something inadequate in us, something less in us. We are unable to see our partner's choice as a reflection of their needs, we see it as a personal indictment against us. A confirmation of everything we are not.
That's why, we need to heal that feeling. That feeling of not being good enough. We need to dismantle that belief. That belief we are not good enough. (check my previous post about not being good enough)
Otherwise, we risk going into the next relationship trying that little bit too hard, trying not to get the next step wrong, trying to guess what our partner wants and play it even smaller by not giving all.. just in case they reject us. (do you relate?)
[We've reached so many beautiful souls thank to your sharing and engagement with my daily posts, do not stop that. You're the best]